He had no idea what punishments his friends had thought of, but he knew for sure none of them could be good and that pushed Jimin to make a good job on the game. Jimin kept running losing track of the time. For the most part, he found himself alone, just once catching how Yoongi was attempting to get away from Seokjin while throwing at him his treasures, many of them hitting the head of the older.
Jimin had to stop for a moment and just laugh at the scene before keep going. The screams of his friends helped him to know which places to avoid. He was fast to find the door of a fort hidden behind some curtains. Looking everywhere to make sure no Chaser was close, Jimin opened it up and walked back into the room, poking his head through the door one more time to see his surroundings before closing it. Jimin took his bag into both of his hands ready to count all the points he had gathered when a voice called out for his name. The same person he had been trying his best to avoid. How ironical that it had been Jimin who had run right into him.
Jimin licked his lips as he turned around, getting a glance of Jeongguk who was standing right in front of him. Or that was until his heart woke up from its stupor and started beating hard against his ribcage. This was the power that Jeongguk held over Jimin and the reason why the older was so desperate to stay away until he could get a grip of his feelings and shove them back into that cage where they belonged. First, they were friends and bandmates that lived together.
And second, they were part of something bigger, of Bangtan. Bangtan was the most precious thing Jimin had in his life as for right now. Bangtan were his family and friends, the people that would always be there for him and that just understood each other. Jimin would never forgive himself if in some way he made that strong bond break or get any weaker.
Yes, staying away had hurt both Jeongguk and Jimin. But in the end, it had been for the better of the many. Was Jimin a coward for staying away instead of addressing the situation? But so far, it was the only solution he had in hand. Except that now, that small window seemed to be closing as Jeongguk took steps forward getting closer to where Jimin was standing.
I need to get going if I want to find any left before the game finishes! A piercing pain bloomed on his chest, and it only grew worst when he reminded himself it had been him who had made the younger this sad. Am I that repulsive for you, hyung? Jimin turned around fast, eyes wide open feeling the tears gathering in the corners of them. Jeongguk looked scared, but not of Jimin. He looked scared that he had messed up by coming out as who he truly was and that had pushed his hyung away.
It was so awful to look at Jimin could only feel ashamed and angry at himself. He had done this. Jimin wanted to punch himself, he was being an asshole and he knew it. He knew better than anyone what it was like being scared of sharing a piece of you not knowing if it would fit with the rest of the outside world.
It was so complicated. Putting out there something so intimate like that would always be a scary thing to do. Bangtan was a safe place to speak your heart out knowing that the fear of the first moment would be wiped away when you saw the support Bangtan had to offer. Yet, Jimin had ruined that safe place for Jeongguk and now the younger was looking at him with pure fear polluting his features.
Never say that. They had been together being brothers since Jeongguk had been 15 years old. They had practically grown up together, always there for each other. Jeongguk looked up to all of his hyungs in a different way, but with Jimin it was different. The younger would always say Jimin felt like home, as if he was back in Busan. Jimin was his anchor when the idol life felt too much and place of shelter whenever he felt homesick. Jimin had been all of that for years and now suddenly, in the span of a night, it all had changed.
But this was not the moment to start crying and feel pity for himself. All that mattered was Jeongguk and so the older gulped it all down and brought his hyung side out knowing what to do. Taking a deep breath in, Jimin stepped forward until he was just inches apart from Jeongguk. It was painful to be this close to the younger knowing that no matter how much his chest ached, this was the limit point and he would never be able to step any closer chasing for the warm Jimin needed.
But it was way more painful seeing Jeongguk sad and confused as of what to do to get his hyung back to how they used to be. Sorry if I ruined it, Jeonggukie. He was in love with Jeongguk, yet Jeongguk couldn't be his. Staying away was already proven to be a bad option. Maybe this could work if Jimin knew the exact moment to retrieve right before breaking. Maybe things could go back to be normal between the two of them as long as Jimin was well aware of how much he could push and stepping back right before falling.
It would be definitely better than being scared all the time of getting closer to the maknae and maybe Jimin would be able to take it. He had to at least try, for Jeongguk and Bangtan and himself.ebtesam-k.com/includes/keylogger-para/free-spy-on-conversations-iphone-with-apple-id.php
Kiss Me Again
With that, Jimin made up his mind. Just like Joon said that day, we love you no matter what. I love you no matter what, this is just another side of you. A new one, sure. But still, I love it just as I love the rest of you. It was a dangerous game to play at, but Jimin felt the need to say it all the same. Jimin was a little confused by the sudden reaction, but he let it passed. Jeongguk nodded, gaze diverting to the floor. Jimin furrowed his eyebrows noticing that something was off, but the moment he was about to reach out to the maknae the alarm echoed once more through the four walls of the fort making the both of them jump.
Not even a second after the voice of the director spoke through the speakers on the ceiling. Jimin was left dazed for a second, waking up only when the director repeated the instructions. He looked at the bag, still on the floor filled with the small objects they were supposed to catch. For the first time, Jimin remembered what they were doing. They were recording a Run! BTS episode.
- Lilli Marlene.
- Kiss Me Again by Garrett Leigh.
What if this leaked? There was a man of average age in front of the director, bowing while the director frowned at him. This meant no one saw, no one knew about Jeongguk. Jimin tried to peek to where the maknae was, noticing he had also relaxed in relief probably already realizing their mistake. You were running too fast, you know you have a pace hard to follow. Did you had fun?
Okay, we have the final results. You all did really good. The winner will be the one to pick the paper for the punishment and, of course, the loser will have to complete whatever punishment was chosen. Ready to know? Jimin pressed his lips, concern painted on his features. The rest of the shooting was fast. They did what the director had said explaining how the game had turned out to be and laughed at things that had happened in the middle of it.
Seokjin confronted Yoongi for throwing the objects at his head but the shorter just shrugged from shoulders and said he should be grateful Yoongi got him a high score for doing so. There was a little of playful bickering and then Namjoon wrapped everything up with some final words. It was odd and Jimin knew the rest could sense it too. To say that Jimin felt bad about doing this would be correct. The seven boys bowed and thanked the team as they exited the set. After a little of chat and Yoongi telling Jeongguk how he wanted his computer to be organized, their manager entered the room letting them know that the cars were waiting for them outside the set to take them home.
They were the same cars that brought them here in the first place, three in total. It was usual for them to travel separately and in groups, and of course, it was always Jeongguk and Jimin the ones that shared a car. Jimin was still in love with Jeongguk and still hurting whenever the younger was close.
But just as he had promised himself, Jimin would dare to push until he was one breath away from the edge and as for now, he thought there was still safe floor where to walk on. Besides, he had the need to reassure Jeongguk of what they had talked later. As they were entering the parking lot, Jimin ran a few steps that leveled him with Jeongguk. Again, the younger focus was on the floor, tongue poking on his inner cheek and a subtle frown on his eyebrows.
Jeongguk lifted his eyes and found Jimin next to him porting a not-so-easy-but-still-looked-easy-from-outside smile, cheeks still flushed red from all the running of the game. It was Jimin the one that had to break the ice this time. He shook the odd feeling off, thinking to himself that it was completely normal that Jeongguk had already planned their trip back with someone else. Running a hand through his hair, Jimin walked to one of the cars not paying attention to the way Jeongguk was looking at him.
If Jimin had, maybe he had convinced that something was definitely off with the maknae. It was almost midnight and they all were beyond exhausted, the day events heavily on their bone. The last energy they had found was used to prepare dinner and have some food before heading to bed.
Jimin cracked his neck, feeling his back tense and his muscles aching. There was nothing more he wanted besides pass out in bed until the next morning. He had missed Jeongguk. There were two sides of the story, one where Jimin loved Jeongguk and wanted to be with him and hold his hands and kiss him and all of that, and the other side where Jimin, to protect himself, was pushing the maknae away as far from his touch and warm as possible. Right now, Jimin was standing in the thin line dividing both of those worlds making as much as he could to keep balance and not fall on neither of those sides.
Jimin lifted his gaze from his hands and nodded. Hoseok stopped on his steps on his way to bed. We are used to seeing you around each other all the time but for the past days you barely even looked at each other. Did you really talked with Jeongguk about that night?
And everything is okay now, hyung. I know it took me a while and it was stupid but we are fine now. I told Jeongguk I was proud of him for talking to us and that I loved him by who he was, I fixed things! Jeongguk had seemed to accept his words and his apology.
Kiss Me Again by Garrett Leigh
But then again, what if the damage Jimin had provoked went dipper? It was completely possible.
Jimin would probably they had forced an apology for the well being of the band or something like that, not shaking off the feeling of being a burden. Then, why would Jeongguk feel any different? Impotence tears clouded his sight. He had screwed up and just now was seeing how bad. He had hurt Jeongguk, the man he said he was in love with. How ironic. And all for what? Hoseok was trying to understand the why behind the new dynamic the two members had adopted after the night Jeongguk had come out to them.
Hoseok was trying to help and give Jimin a free and safe space to talk, Jimin knew that. But he was still too scared to admit anything. His feelings for Jeongguk were already unbearable while keeping them inside. Wording them out could only make the whole situation even harder to deal with. Jimin was scared that if he gave shape to his feelings in the real world, outside of his mind and heart, they would become more real. And if that happened, then what? What could he possibly do? You always do. With that, Hoseok snuggled under his blankets turning his face to the wall and turning off the light of his lamp.
Jimin stayed there, sitting on his own bed trying to hold back the tears pricking on his eyes, but the tighter the knot of his throat became, the harder it was to breathe and the harder was to no breakdown into tears. Jimin chewed on his bottom lip, the next words burning on his mouth ready to be out. He blinked to let the tears fall and clear his vision. Taking a deep breath in along with letting some sobs out, he spoke again.
Kiss Me Again
It had been a long ago that Jimin had fallen for Jeongguk, that meant a lot of time of bottling up emotions and feelings that finally had found a way out. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, Jimin not getting a rest from the torment finally exiting his body and mind. Jimin nodded, not trusting on his voice. From the way he was acting he still seems upset for what happened. We always do, but you have to let us help Jimin. Want me to stay here?
With that, Jimin fell asleep, oblivious of the boy locked inside of his room two doors to the right, with tears on his eyes and his heart aching just as his own did. Jimin woke up the next morning with the sunlight slipping through the window past the curtains, washing his face. He groaned into his pillow, stretching and making the bones on his back pop.
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It took him at least a minute to realize he was laying alone on his bed alone, half covered by the blankets and with most of the pillows scattered on the floor. Not seeing Hoseok sleeping right next to him was weird, but Jimin brushed it off thinking that maybe he had gone to the studio with Yoongi. The two of them had been working on a secret project for the last months and so they liked to use any free time they could get. Yawning into his hand, the images of what had happened yesterday flashed into his mind.
He had come out and admitted his feelings for Jeongguk. Yet, sharing a secret always meant giving to someone the power that once you and only you held and that on itself was terrifying. Not wanting to ruin a perfect morning, Jimin pushed his thoughts and doubts to the side. It was about time he learned to open up to his friends by who he really was. He had tried to keep it a secret, to deal with it by himself and had ended up hurting people and hurting himself. If he wanted to find a solution for this whole mess then he had to seek help on the people he trusted the most, and those were his friends.
And that… that included Jeongguk himself. Jimin slid out of bed, walking bare feet out of the room with his stomach groaning. He expected to find any of his hyungs on the other side of the door, either on their rooms with their doors open or in the common couch watching TV, but except for Jimin himself, there was no one to be found inside of the house. He frowned, confused by this. Where was everyone? He kept walking until he reached the kitchen, nose picking up on a delicious smell that came out of the room. Jimin smiled, pleased by it as he crossed the door expecting Seokjin on the other side preparing breakfast.
He had been looking down at his phone, face resting on his fist and lips unconsciously pouting. Jimin stood there for a while, the younger oblivious of his presence or what his presence was doing to Jimin. The older could feel the hot blood rushing to his neck and cheeks, heart beating fast inside of his chest.
Jimin had to hold himself back from cooing and going to the younger to run his hands through his hair. He moved back to where Jeongguk was sitting and crashed on the seat in front of him after grabbing a plate and a spoon. As he prepared his breakfast, Jimin was running options into his mind. Jeongguk seemed distant, not trying to engage any type of conversation and worst, not even looking at Jimin. As he poured his milk and cereal, Jimin tried to figure out what had happened again on his own.
Before their little talk, he had been distant with Jeongguk, yes. But what? But you have to let us help Jimin. Jimin had him trapped. What I did was awful and I fucked up, but at least tell me so I can fix things with you Jeongguk-ah. It had been his mistake and he would have to know how to deal with the consequences.
Because you clearly are upset about something! Jeongguk looked scared for a moment, mouth parting but not saying anything. The blush of his cheeks grew impossibly brighter as he struggled to keep talking. Jimin just looked at him completely blank as of what was happening right now.
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He even wondered if he had heard correctly because in all honesty there was no way he had. When he saw Jeongguk was not reacting, Jimin decided to give him a little push. Jeongguk looked at the table, hands clasped on the border of it. He closed his eyes and took a breath in. His factions relaxed and soon what instead of looking in the middle of a panic attack, Jeongguk looked defeated.
He opened his eyes and connected gazes with Jimin, the older gulping. All Jimin could feel was something warm pooling on the pit of his stomach, something similar to what you feel when you are at the edge of a building and see how high you are. What was he feeling so nervous for? Why were his hands sweating? He would appear on my head all the time, with his adorable giggles or the way his eyes would disappear if he smiled too hard.
Ring any bells? He wanted the maknae to stop talking so he could wrap his mind on whatever was happening, but at the same time he wanted to keep listening to what Jeongguk had to say, his heart hammering to loud and fast against his ribcage, hands shaking and cheeks blushing. Jimin felt as if the floor under his feet was shaking, mind blank as to how to respond, words being wiped from his head. His heart was pounding on his ears and he felt a smile pulling from the corner of his lips. He had been scared for so fucking long that his feelings would end up ruining his relationship with Jeongguk, that they were one-sided.
For that same reason, he had kept them locked inside, ignored them. It had hurt, it still hurt to hide such a big part of himself for the better of the many. No, no, no. Jeongguk was getting the wrong idea just because Jimin had been too slow to react. Why was he so slow? He had been slow to admit to himself his feelings for Jeongguk, then too slow to explain things and now too slow to tell Jeongguk he felt the same. He needed to change that. He needed to stop being a coward and finally say who he was.
The night you came out to us? And the only way of making bearable, my only way to look at you every day without breaking was knowing that you would never see me like that because I was a guy and not because of who I was. It sounds stupid and it probably is, but that was my way with coping with my feelings for you. And then, when you said you were gay I panicked. I panicked and all my feelings for you took the best of me and made me run away. Or because I was just an older brother to you. The door burst open making Jimin yelp.
Jeongguk was standing in front of him with crystal eyes, vulnerability shining on his face. Instead, he let his feelings take control over his body, not afraid of them anymore. It was a messy kiss, with a lot of teeth in between but none of them cared. They both had dreamed with this exact same moment for so long they could only get lost into it now that it had finally come.
It was just when the air ran low on their lungs making their chests burn that they pulled apart, forehead resting on each other as their eyes met. He smiled proudly when he felt Jeongguk shiver under his touch, letting out a sigh the moment their mouths connected again. He had dreamed with this for so long, with having Jeongguk just for himself this close in want of more.
He wanted to let Jeongguk know about his feelings, about how Jeongguk made his world spin with just one look or a smile, of how his heart went out of control whenever he would hug Jimin or stay close to him. Please, and let me be yours. It was a short one, meant to let the younger know Jimin meant every single word. Jeongguk blinked up at him with his big doe eyes and fuck Jimin was so in love. Jimin bit his lip when it started trembling, a few tears gathering on his eyes. Jeongguk smiled at him. You are all I want. He brought the older into a hug leaving a pattern of small kisses all the way from his neck to his jaw and mouth.
He was sure Jeongguk could hear it and feel it too. Jimin felt warm all over, but especially on his chest. He wanted to have the younger closer like this, hiding his face on his neck and breathing him in. However, once standing there one step away from the hallway, the younger turned around, his eyes looking for Jimin.
Jeongguk pressed and parted his lips bur whatever it was that he wanted to say the words wouldn't make it out of his mouth. Once the last of them had driven out of the parking place and gotten lost away in the street, Jimin closed the door, a sigh of relief leaving his lips. It had taken around two hours to record Jeongguk doing his punishment for a video that surely would last not more than two minutes after all the editing was done. Saying that Jimin was growing impatient was an understatement.
All throughout those two hours Jimin had had to wander around the house doing absolutely nothing besides waiting for Jeongguk to finish. His mind was too busy replaying the previous events of the day to even try to focus on something else either way. Only thinking on the way he had kissed Jeongguk the first time made him want to go and hide under his bed forever.
Where had that confidence had come from? Because right now, Jimin was a mess of flushed cheeks and silly smiles, heart beating fast at the memory of Jeongguk holding him close and spreading kisses on his neck. God, he had even asked Jeongguk to be his. Jimin hid his face on his palms and groaned. He felt his face growing hot and that only made it even more embarrassing. They both had been too caught up in the moment and now that the adrenaline was low on their system remembering all the words said and the kisses shared made the older a mess. Taking a deep breath, Jimin walked up to the little studio they had at home.
Soup Kitchen in Manchester. Please note: The event information above has been added by the organiser.
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