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  1. More From Thought Catalog
  2. 33 Overworked Telemarketers Reveal The Worst Thing A Customer Has Said To Them
  3. How to Piss off a Telemarketer | NeoGAF

More From Thought Catalog

Try to sell them what they're trying to sell to you. Try to sell their soul to God. Say in a husky voice: "You will die in seven days. Tell them that you'll buy their product. They'll die of shock. Start singing, "My Humps".

How To Annoy A Telemarketer

Tell them: "I can see you. Ask them if they like strawberries. Tell them: "Fire, I've made fire! If he speaks about mortgages ask him about a lot of detalis such as: mortgage refinance, what is the adjustable mortgage rate if he knows anything about mortgage taxes and so on. You answer the phone normally, and upon hearing it's a telemarketer, you ask them to hold for a second while you put "Albert" on.

33 Overworked Telemarketers Reveal The Worst Thing A Customer Has Said To Them

Albert is your automated attendant. You're listening intently to the telemarketer's scripted speech and apologize as you are performing an important surgical procedure Try putting this on the robot.

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If you want to spend some money for more samples.. Give the telemarketer your "bad-times e-mail adress" and after receiving his email spam back. Suddenly speak in another language when you realize you speak with a telemarketer. When the telemarketer says they're from an insurance company respond that you have many death threats against you and you wish to take out their highest paying insurance policy, immediately.

Say in perfect English, "I don't speak English, sorry" Say "Want to hear a cool noise? Tell them to please hold while you do your buisness. Then making farting sounds in the phone and after 30sec come back breathing hard. When they start talking, begin to listen. Then, in the middle of their speech, moan and say " name of same gender , Stop it! I'm on the phone! Moan sensually again, and say any of the fun phrases you can think of.

How to Piss off a Telemarketer | NeoGAF

When the telemarketer calls, act very interested. Say you'll order the product, and then when they ask for your address say " Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC" This is good: say "Oh they moved, and give them the number of someone you hate. Question the legality of every statement they make, ex. If they tell you you have won a prize these always fake , tell them that when you entered you decided that you like the prize so much you already went out and bought it.

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Simply say "no thank you" and then smoothly offer to sell your ford f When a telemarketer calls say: "Hey, I am on the fifth level of game name here and if you could just wait on hold for 5 minutes that would be great! If it is a travel agency say that you are a pothead and you want to go to Columbia. Keep asking him how much he pays for weed in Columbia, until he hangs up Sing in a Mentally Insane Voice at every question they ask: "I'll never tell If the telemarketer asks if your parents are there, act like you get them, and then start swearing at the kid for giving the phone because it was a telemarketer.

Talk to them as is you are interested, then put the phone close to the toilet and simply flush. Pretend to be an old man who can't hear well and speaks with a heavy accent.

See a Problem?

This gets the telemarketer yelling and repeating themselves. Every time they start to hang up begin saying how much you like the product to keep them on. When the telemarketer starts talking, interupt by saying: "Wanna play the Penis game? Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. When they attempt to sell you a product, tell them you're sorry, but you're going to jail the following day.

If they wanted to call back in 4 years, you'd be happy to talk business with them. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down. Play the Telemarketer Fun Game When they ask you how was your day.

Explain in much detail every event and thought of your day. Example: Well my alarm went off this morning at and I really didn't feel like getting up but I had to Just give them a bit of their own medicine and try to sell them something, with dogged persistence of course, that they have absolutely no need for, didn't ask for in the first place and probably cannot afford or are even vaguely interested in. Mostly I just get an exasperated sigh and they hang up. Works for me. Re: Sure Fire Way to Annoy Indian Telemarketers You can always do the Seinfeld trick and ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them back later.

I have noticed a real reduction in calls from people trying to sell me crap , we still get a lot of calls from charities but My wife has a soft spot for them and always gives money and they must tell each other because we get a few a week but they are exempt from the register anyway.