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And many of us do live out the fairly constant pain of our relationship s. In love we want a lot. We want all the attention. We want it to last forever. We want it to be perfect. And we throw everything we have into these desires. Think of a relationship where you were deeply in love with someone: smitten by them and this may well be your present relationship, of course. Remember what it felt like to be attached to them: loving their attention and looks … waiting for their calls … cherishing time with them above everything else.

And remember the flip side, too: getting anxious wondering whether they loved you as much … getting jealous easily … getting frustrated with yourself for being so dependent on someone. Now imagine in that relationship what it would have been like to have taken things a little less seriously. Imagine hanging on less to the relationship and letting the other person breathe. Imagine them mattering a tad less to you.

Bestselling author Sarah Knight is a leading light in the 'sweary self-help' phenomenon

In fact, this may be where definitions of love start to strain at the leash. Part of the reason for this, of course, is due to tension and relaxation. When you are attached and dependent, there is enormous tension in the relationship. There is no room for anything to move. As soon as something shifts, things start to snap, like a very tight spring just snapping. When you relax everything — when you relax out of your attachment and investment in the relationship — there is more space and room.

And just as chi flows more readily in a relaxed body, the love flows more readily in a relaxed relationship. Feel the relaxation. Feel the freedom. Then carry on with your life and see what happens.

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You know what? Just like any attachment to anything is eventually tiring and boring. Some people get so tired and bored with trying everything and spending lots of money and investing so much energy that they simply give up. They say one big Fuck It and finally give up wanting to be whole and well and perfect. They give in fully to their condition. They surrender completely to their pain. They give up wanting to be any different from how they are, just as they are, now. And you know what happens? Maybe not straight away. Maybe not for a little while.

But they tend to get better. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual problems have nothing to stick to in the face of total relaxation. I knew this. I practised the methods to a high level. And yet very little changed. Because I still had aims, attachments and myriad meanings. And these are all basically tension. The bummer is this: if you want health and you use even the best relaxation method to try to get it, your very wanting of that health is a tension that the method is unlikely to be able to break down.

In our world of meaning, money means a lot. This is of course not true for everyone, but generally:. Money is just an abstract means of exchange, after all. This is simply about exchange. The world values what you do by paying your bills, buying your clothes, taking you out for dinner, sending you on holiday, and turning up at your house with a new car. You are simply in a constant process of exchange for value with the world. The more the world values what you do and what you are giving, the more it will give back. What tends to happen is that the more you value yourself, the more the rest of the world will tend to agree and value you as well.

Enjoy the process of exchange: whether big or small. Enjoy it: enjoy that the world is generous enough to give to those it values. Any attachment around money is — of course — tension. Attachment to getting more, or attachment to keeping what you have. Saying Fuck It to money releases that tension and leaves just softness and relaxation. When we relax our hold on money, things tend to flow more naturally.

That means that things tend to flow naturally in both directions. If you stop being so uptight about losing money, then you may well start to spend more, invest more and be more generous. And this gets the flow going. You will tend to find that more money then starts to come your way. Every emotion I feel is absolutely okay just as it is. If I feel love and peace, that is just the same as if I feel fear and anxiety.

They are both the same. That is non-judgement.


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It may not happen straight away, but it definitely starts to happen. And it happens for a very simple reason: whenever you judge other people it simply comes from a non-acceptance of yourself in all your parts. So say Fuck It to whatever you want to be. And just be who you are. There is no need to be anything else. There is no need to self-develop, or improve. There is no need to be like anyone else. You are just fine exactly as you are right now. Just feel that now.

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What you think of as your worst side is just the same as what you think of as your best side. What I know is what you know: that our minds love the idea of self-control and discipline. We love the idea of improving, of bettering ourselves, of getting fitter and thinner, or smarter, or more accomplished. And we think self-control and discipline are always the way.

Well, our minds do, anyway. And the above little monologue is what typically goes on in my head.

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Even though I should know better by now, this is what my mind still gets up to. It just adores the idea of doing something at a certain time, consistently, every day, until some remarkable change has occurred. Any attempt you make to control yourself. So just say Fuck It to it all. Just do what the hell you want. Try not to set up daily tasks for yourself to get fitter or thinner or smarter though we all still will, of course. Once you lose the tension of these self-imposed expectations, you will feel so much freer. And when you feel free, you will be more tuned in to what your body wants:.

It works well. So they drift from one thing to another, enjoying some moments and hating others, but never really finding fulfillment or success whatever that means to them. But they often have no relevance to what you really need, because no one even knows what they want like you. A very vague message is sent out to the world, and you get only vague or inappropriate stuff back.

Then get together some plans. Then set some goals. Sometimes the bad guy. In the end, it all works out the same: they balance each other out over time. Good points, but personally its not a life style. You might end up in a far better place than you are at the moment. I profane way to help with Modern Life I enjoyed it thoroughly if you're struggling with your day today it's a great way to learn to let the little things go. This book is kind of life-changing.

Worth buying and worth time listening : Highly recommended. I wish this could be listened to buy each and every person. I loved this book. Here's a guide, an opportunity, to free yourself from your everyday hindrances. I loved this audiobook! It sounds more like a conversation than a reading. I finish almost all books that I start, because sometimes the message can only be fully understood if the whole piece is perceived. I get this because I read a lot of non-fiction, which can be quite dry and un-stimulating but nevertheless have great value as pieces of information.

In the case of this book, I do not need to finish it to understand its full message. John Perkins is a terribly uniformed and ignorant person that asserts opinions with the pretence of authority. His writing is riddled with logical fallacies and he has clearly cherry picked information to suit his own needs — to sell BS to people. John Parkin has no legitimate authority in this area. In spite of this, there are four things that he actually is — a thief, a quack, a lunatic, and a moron. If you have any interest in this narrative there are far more deserving authors for whom you could part from your money with.

When I heard John speak at this year's Hay House Summit about the subject matter of his book, I was gripped by the sheer profundity of the profane and listened with intent. Not being one to swear l naturally gravitated to John's voice and motive. This book really freed me from religious self-limitations that have blocked me.

I will always keep listening to this book. In fact, I am buying a hard copy version to feast on in black and white. I recommend this book to those who are ready to mind blown. Far too much waffle from Parkin, in an attempt to humour and 'lighten' the tone of the book. Basic concept of "F--k It" attitude is good, but it was so annoying and distracting when he goes off on a tangent, in trying too hard to be funny, yet maintains a very monotonous tone in his voice.

Disappointing to sat the least. Love this Audio book it really cheers me up to think things don't really matter , its a great listen x. One day in the summer of , Michael Harding's wife brought an unusual gift home from Warsaw. All of a sudden, he found himself falling back into the old religious devotions of an earlier time.

The meaning he had found through years of engagement with therapy began to dissolve. The real story behind one of the most potent symbols of the Holocaust - the blue numbers tattooed on prisoners' arms Inspirational - the very best of humanity in the very worst of circumstances Unforgettable - a story untold for over seventy years is finally shared Life-affirming - one man's determination to survive and live a full life with the woman he Andrea Hayes' inspirational and practical journal will help you clarify what you really want for the year ahead so you can begin to manifest the life of your dreams.

Inside, you will Difficult relationships and challenging circumstances all come down to one thing: drama. In this ground-breaking book, Doreen Virtue guides you through the process of determining your Drama Quotient. You'll discover how much stress you are unnecessarily tolerating and absorbing from other people and the situations you find yourself in. Doreen explains the From author of The Happiness Code, Domonique Bertolucci, comes a new book Love Your Life showcasing a collection of uplifting messages that will inspire you to discover your inner and lasting happiness.

An self-help, motivational book that provides daily affirmations to inspire happiness and control over our lives. This book comes out of Domonique's The Little Book of Love is the perfect gift for a loved one, someone you are in love with or anyone looking for love. This book will inspire us to nurture our relationships through passionate and thoughtful thinking and will remind us that love is not only out there, but all around us.

From inspiring quotes to practical exercises and advice, this book The Little Book of Quiet takes a broad look at the need for, and the benefits of, achieving more quiet in your life. It takes a look at different personality types - those who are inherently more disposed to an introverted nature people who are more comfortable in the inner world of thought and feeling and those of an extroverted nature people of More than merely a passing mood, contentment should be attainable by everyone, but it can feel out of reach as we become bogged down in daily stresses and consumed by negativity.

The Little Book of Happiness shows you how There are few people who have not gone to a party, a business presentation, a meeting or social occasion feeling a lack of confidence or an increased amount of self-consciousness. Reading this book will help transform the former wallflower into a sunflower. The Little Book of Confidence shows us how to challenge our preconceived notions about confidence The bestselling book everyone is talking about - our favourite anti-guru Sarah Knight reveals the surprising art of caring less and getting more.

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